Best Crossover EVAR!
Feb. 13th, 2008 11:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alectoperditaThis is from one of CMU's student publication, readme. Read it, really.
Political Machines Transforming Race: Democrats and Republicans Maximize, Terrorize
From her moonbase on the far shores of the Sea of Tranquility, Hillary Clinton surveyed the other campaigners with her dark telescope. Her Madoona-style bra-cones hung pendulously as she peered towards Earth.
There, in Angel Grove, California, the other Democratic candidates were meeting up. These five racially diverse teens were the only things between her and ultimate victory. United by a love of volunteering and high school, they had been summoned by a wise mystic, Alan Greenspan, who knew of the coming threat. Just as Greenspan schooled these new candidates in the art of Political Machines, Hillary called to her minions.
"FINSTER, make me a monster!" He did, and named it Iowacaucus. She picked up her wand of political polarization. "Magic Wand, make my monster GROW!"
Later that day, Obama, Kucinich, Gravel, Richardson, and Edwards were jogging together in Angel Grove Park. Edwards tripped, and fell out of their informal race. Suddenly, the candidates heard maniacal laughter from some distant hill. There camera zoomed faster than an Autobot on an open highway, and they saw Hillary in all her glory standing atop a pole.
"KILL THEM, MY PUTTIES" she cried. In a flash of cheap smoke effects, a hundred gray old ladies surrounded the remaining four candidates. Strangely, each fell after only a single stomach-punch, which Gravel was more than happy to Dole out. (get it? Dole? Dole out? Bob Dole? Oh, I hate you.)
Once the battlefield was clear, there was only one thing left to do. The candidates needed to combine powers and form Voltron. Or the Megazord. Or something. But where was Edwards? Clinton chose this opportune moment to send out her huge Caucus monster.
In a triumphal flute-last and a scorching screen of smoke, Ron Paul appeared, dressed in gold. "Use my zord-cat-dinosaur!" he cried. "By our powers combined, we can defeat the giant Caucus."
In a second triumphal blast, Al Gore appeared, dressed in gree. "My ecological dragonzord can help you, too, and ironically lower your carbon emissions! And I'm not even jogging with you guys!"
But in the end, Hillary won, and we had to vote for another lizard. God is dead and the universe is empty of meaning or humanity.
THE END
Disclaimer: I DID NOT WRITE THIS. Don't know who did since they don't regularly credit writers on readme. A bunch of people probably wrote it.
Coming up: Portal cake?
Happy V-Day everyone!
From her moonbase on the far shores of the Sea of Tranquility, Hillary Clinton surveyed the other campaigners with her dark telescope. Her Madoona-style bra-cones hung pendulously as she peered towards Earth.
There, in Angel Grove, California, the other Democratic candidates were meeting up. These five racially diverse teens were the only things between her and ultimate victory. United by a love of volunteering and high school, they had been summoned by a wise mystic, Alan Greenspan, who knew of the coming threat. Just as Greenspan schooled these new candidates in the art of Political Machines, Hillary called to her minions.
"FINSTER, make me a monster!" He did, and named it Iowacaucus. She picked up her wand of political polarization. "Magic Wand, make my monster GROW!"
Later that day, Obama, Kucinich, Gravel, Richardson, and Edwards were jogging together in Angel Grove Park. Edwards tripped, and fell out of their informal race. Suddenly, the candidates heard maniacal laughter from some distant hill. There camera zoomed faster than an Autobot on an open highway, and they saw Hillary in all her glory standing atop a pole.
"KILL THEM, MY PUTTIES" she cried. In a flash of cheap smoke effects, a hundred gray old ladies surrounded the remaining four candidates. Strangely, each fell after only a single stomach-punch, which Gravel was more than happy to Dole out. (get it? Dole? Dole out? Bob Dole? Oh, I hate you.)
Once the battlefield was clear, there was only one thing left to do. The candidates needed to combine powers and form Voltron. Or the Megazord. Or something. But where was Edwards? Clinton chose this opportune moment to send out her huge Caucus monster.
In a triumphal flute-last and a scorching screen of smoke, Ron Paul appeared, dressed in gold. "Use my zord-cat-dinosaur!" he cried. "By our powers combined, we can defeat the giant Caucus."
In a second triumphal blast, Al Gore appeared, dressed in gree. "My ecological dragonzord can help you, too, and ironically lower your carbon emissions! And I'm not even jogging with you guys!"
But in the end, Hillary won, and we had to vote for another lizard. God is dead and the universe is empty of meaning or humanity.
Disclaimer: I DID NOT WRITE THIS. Don't know who did since they don't regularly credit writers on readme. A bunch of people probably wrote it.
Coming up: Portal cake?
Happy V-Day everyone!
